What Else...

... have I been doing recently?

I'm struggling to remember to be honest!

The boob saga is drawing to a close as the wound is all but healed now which is a massive relief. I must say a huge thanks again to Mr Jan Stanek and his brilliant nurse Steph for treating me. The problem was nothing to do with the work he'd done on me last year, but he fixed it free of charge as the NHS fobbed me off with some bullshit lines.

The massive upside is a pair of the perkiest titties ever seen on a 48 year old woman! I don't even need to wear a bra! Fabulous!

I went to see a whole bunch of my comedy chums in the new Ken Loach movie Looking For Eric. I'm not really a football fan, but it didn't matter. Its a fantastic story, really funny and really gritty. Cantona was terrific, and best of all, none of my mates were crap in it! So well done to Smug Roberts, Justin Moorhouse, MIck Ferry and Greg Cook.

I've really gotten into the gym as well as my yoga classes, and most days do at least a workout or a class. It's paying off in all kinds of ways. Physically obviously, but also mentally and there's nothing like aching limbs to focus your mind away from anything that isn't right in your life! I've even started running on the treadmill now!

I know its probably a bit tedious for everyone else, but I really can't stress enough how fantastic it is to be fit, the novelty of not being hugely overweight and sweating just putting my shoes on, has yet to wear off!

Its Been A Long Time ....

Since I blogged and while life has been a bit hectic that's not the reason.

A couple of weeks ago we had the European Elections, and like most folks I went to cast my vote. I was horrified to see the BNP right at the top of the list of candidates. Like a lot of people, I too am pissed off with the Labour Party, Gordon Brown, and the whole expenses scandal concerning MP's across all parties. Something inside me wouldn't let me put my cross by the Labour candidate's name for the first time since I was 18. So, as a protest, I voted for Arthur Scargill's "real proper left wing socialist Labour party" or whatever they're called. I wouldn't say I was a socialist even with a small "s" but I saw Mr Scargill give a speach once at County Hall and he was awesome, so he got my vote. Quite a few of my pals voted Green for similar reasons. That's what a protest vote is.

A protest vote is not being pissed off with Labour and voting for the BNP. When the results came in and that abhorrent creature Nick Griffin was elected as a member for the North West, along with his fellow thug Brons in Yorkshire, I actually did feel a little bit of sick in the back of my throat. What made me more ill, was the media saying 'Oh people voted for them as a protest against Gordon Brown'. You don't become a nazi cos of the recession, you don't vote for a party who believes that anyone who isn't white and British born has no right to live in this country, you just don't!

People voted for the BNP because they are racist, because their own small lives are easier to bear if they can blame "them" for the fact that they are redundant as a human being. The "them" they hate can be anyone from a homosexual, an Afro-Carribean woman, a Polish plumber, a Muslim or a Jew. It really doesn't matter, these people choose to hate rather than do something to change their own situation.

Anyone who knows me or has seen my act, will know that I am a billion miles away from Mark Thomas when it comes to political comedy, but racism is the one thing I've never got. It just seems such a stupid thing to hate someone cos they are different. We are all bloody different!

At 16 I was on the Rock Against Racism march to Victoria Park, along with a gazillion other punks, politicos and ordinary people. In South Africa I got shit for standing up to a PR guy who set us all up on a lunch with a "nazi" politician.

I've had bleach squirted under my front door and was even attacked by youths where I used to live - because I have black friends. I even got hate mail from Combat 18 when I was writing about telly for the Standard cos they thought JoJo was the name of a black man! FFS!!!! I was surprised those morons could actually write a letter I have to say!

Anyway, that's why I haven't blogged cos I didn't wanna just say 'anyone who voted for the BNP is a thick racist cunt' . I mean they are, but I wanted to be calmer before I spoke my mind.

My wish is that one day we all wake up and realise that we are on this planet together, we need to work as a team, not English against Scots, black against white, gay vs straight, Jew vs Muslim. We are all in it together, so lets stop fucking about and start caring for each other!

Sorry.....

Just realised its been aaaages since I've written a blog. I think its the Twitter effect. Cos I spend a fair amount of time uploading various banal thoughts and actions on there, its kinda taken away the need to blog so often.

The other thing is that life really does seem to be frantic at the moment. Most mornings are taken up either with dashing down to Wimpole Street to have the dressing on my breast changed (its healing nicely btw) or going to my new gym.

I finally got my first workout programme, once the hand had healed from the shattering glass doorknob saga, and while its a fraction of the stuff I was doing at home, but infinitely more effective! Just little tweaks to the bicep and tricep curls, a new way of doing crunches, and its like my body has been kick started! I'm seeing results after only two weeks! Plus 25 minutes at speed on the cross trainer is adding a whole new dimension to the muscles in my legs.

Just as well really, cos my newly found high heel fetish shows no signs of diminishing! After getting the most awesome pair in Brum the other week, yesterday I succumbed to a pair of pale grey patent platform courts at Office that are just amazing! The heel is at least 5" and I tower over most people in them, but I actually wore them onstage last night and didn't fall once! It's amazing how a pair of fabulous fuck me pumps will make even the plainest of outfits something special. I was only wearing skinny jeans and a t-shirt but I looked fierce! So many wasted years in flatties!

Talking of the stage, this weekend I am gigging at one of my Top Five comedy clubs in the world - The Glee Club in Cardiff - and so far I'm having a terrific time. The line-up is great, Matt Welcome, Stefano Paolini and Trevor Crook (plus on Thursday, new to me comic Tom Craine who was brilliant).

My confidence onstage had taken a bit of a knock recently due to some ill-informed comments, and it had been inhibiting my performances, but last night's show especially confirmed that the best thing for me to be is the best me I can be! I cannot be the comedian other people want or expect me to be and its pointless trying. If I was gonna fake it, I'd become an actor. It's been a pretty horrid few weeks, but I feel I'm out of the black hole now and onwards and upwards and fuck the haters!

Ps on Twitter I now have over 900 followers and I know they read my site and my blog, so I will thank you all here too for following me. If you're reading this and not on Twitter, get on there! I am MissJoJoSmith on there.

Laters folks xxx

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!

To The Comedy Store!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I went to their 30th Birthday show and party on Monday night and had a whale of a time!



I genuinely can't remember a night as much fun as this!

Thank you guys xxx

A Very Special Night!

Sooooooo last night I finally got to go and see The Specials at the Brixton Academy.

This year is shaping up to be the year I see bands/people from my past, first Grace Jones and now Terry Hall and the lads. Adding to that I went with my old mate Andrew Gosling who I'd not seen for years after he gave up comedy for something far more lucrative!

The walk from Brixton tube was fascinating. A selection of punks, a few mods, a lot of skinheads - all of whom were old enough, fat enough and bald enough to know better - had dusted down the threads of their youth and squeezed into em for the night. For the most part they were accompanied by their offspring some of whom looked like they weren't entirely there by choice!

Once we got inside, it was brilliant! The place was heaving, I can't remember the last time I was in such a crowd of people all there for the same reason. It felt like 'above the fire limit' full but that could have something to do with the aforementioned girth of the majority of the gig goers!

The group came on about 9.30 and were just incredible! I was a bit sad that Jerry Dammers had pulled out, but in the end he wasn't really missed. They were so tight and the songs sounded really fresh! It wasn't 'ska-reoke' it was relevant and vibrant and fucking awesome! I even danced!

I was right back there, all those gigs, The Greyhound before they even had a deal when Mick Jagger tried to sign them to Rolling Stones Records, but failed cos he was wearing brown cords! The Lyceum gig at the end of the Two-Tone Tour where I met my future employers, Dexys Midnight Runners, it all came flooding back! I was 18 again and I loved it.

Thanks lads.

Ps Terry Hall is looking very handsome these days, in a dirty kinda way!

Apart From That....

... I've been doing gigs too!

I've had some fun onstage recently, even if the offstage life has been a bit crummy!

Last weekend I was off to Nottingham on Thursday to do Jongleurs with a fantastic line-up - Markus Birdman, Dave Haddingham and Steve Harris, and me as MC. They weren't the easiest of crowds but I won them over, and at the risk of blowing my own trumpet, I was on cracking form!

Friday saw me at The Funny Side of Covent Garden, and once again I amazed myself with my performance. My confidence had taken a bit of a knock recently, and this was just what I needed! Saturday was less magical but a good 'un nonetheless.

After the show I met up with a bunch of comedy chums, Stephen K Amos just back from Oz, Jason Manford, and a host of fabulous funnymen at the Comedy Store. It was great fun!

Loving Hospital Food!

I must be!

Since my last blog I've been back to the Welbeck for Mr Stanek to remove this mysterious lump in my boob. He said he would do it under local anasthetic, which after the experience I had with my hand didn't fill me with confidence, of course the difference when you go private is that they give you a lovely injection of vallium so you sleep through the op anyway.

I was having it done privately because the NHS had refused to treat me. I have a long history of lumpy breasts, years ago I had one removed from my right breast, and six years ago the left one had this golf-ball sized abscess which almost ruptured! That time I was treated at St Mary's in Paddington and they drained it with the aid of a needle and ultrasound, but didn't actually remove the pocket where it had developed. At the time I was told it had occurred because I was overweight and I smoked.

When the lump came back last June, I went to my GP and was given anti-biotics for weeks on end. Of course this did nothing, and in the end (my regular doctor who is awesome was on leave) I took myself off to A&E to try and get it treated. I was referred back to the breast specialist I'd seen five years before, and he even remembered me. However he said they wouldn't treat me any further because I'd had a boob job. He said this was the cause of the lump - which by now was incredibly swollen and painful. I reminded him that last time he said it was the fat and the fags and he just shrugged.

I was due to have a second boob lift in January and Mr Stanek said he would take a look at it. Strictly speaking this lump was nothing to do with him, but I told him about the NHS refusing me treatment and blaming the boob job and he agreed to take it on, bless him. I should add he has not charged me for either the second lift or any of the exploratory work on the cyst/lump.

To cut a dreary and rather gruesome story short, it was drained again but didn't ever heal, and now there was an opening for the "stuff" to come out, come out it did!

So there I was two weeks ago having a tunnel dug into my breast and apparently two cysts removed! The tunnel is packed with an anti-biotic tape to help it heal from within, and this is what's happening.

At least I hope so!

Due To ....

.... a variety of circumstances beyond my control, I've had to withdraw from the Action Aid Himalaya trek this October... luckily no-one had pledged any money so there's not an issue there. I'll consider my deposit a donation and hopefully one of these days life won't get in the way of my goals!