Saturday, September 30, 2006

Seaside Special

Sunday morning, up with the lark and packing my case yet again. We were chauffered to the airport in a luxurious mini-coach, all leather reclining seats, provided by the festival organisers. Considering they sent an Espace to collect us on Friday, I guess they were happy with our performances!

The airport was heaving, and there was yet more hassle checking in with all the equipment, less than at Blackpool tho. On my way to be security searched, I bumped into Michael McIntyre who'd been doing a gig at the Laughter Lounge. He was less enthusiastic about his Dublin experience than I was about mine. I did get to meet his lovely missus and his absolutely gorgeous baby...made me quite broody for at least 45 seconds.

We got to Blackpool with bit of time to spare and drove along the sea-front to the hotel. As a kid I spent a great deal of time in Blackpool and it always felt magical and glamourous. Today those feelings are replaced with sadness. I know that the whole town is waiting to hear if they get one of the super-casinos, but fuck me they could start cleaning the place up anyway!

In daylight it looked like Hades in a Kiss Me Quick hat. The hotel had a very flash reception, the rooms were ok. I had to be at the theatre by 6.45, so I unpacked and had a long soak in the bath to chill out. I even managed a little nap.

As night fell and the Illuminations came on, the whole place took on a wonderful glow. The faded facades of the daytime Blackpool disappeared and it looked like a mini-Vegas. If only it was night-time all the time!

The Grand Theatre, home of Ken Dodd, Max Wall and a million other variety/comedy acts, was our home for the night. It was beautiful inside, a bit like the Olympia but slightly smaller, all red velvet and gold paintwork. I am definitely getting spoiled on this tour.

I was back to doing my full time and had just the best fun with the 800 strong crowd. On the front row there was an old man and a few seats down an old lady. I often do wonder what people think they are gonna see at one of these shows, but the old lady knew exactly what to expect! She hadn't seen cock since WW2 and was ready for some fresh meat!

For the boys, I would say it was the most raucous reception they'd had so far. The women were shameless, and poor Martyn was stopped in his tracks by one woman old enough to be his granny shouting out how beautiful he was! It was great to watch it.

After the show, the theatre programmer took my details saying he'd like to book me back there, and the theatre manager bought me a drink, I could end up Queen of the North Pier yet!

We were steered towards a chinese restaurant called the Mandarin, aparently the owner, Pauline, had been in the show and she loved it, so we were guaranteed a great reception.

They were right, it was the perfect venue for my farewell dinner with the crew. The food was delicious and Pauline was the perfect host. I don't really do restaurant plugs, but if you ever find yourself in Blackpool head to Clifton Street and enjoy a feast.

At the end of the meal as we sipped our 'After Eight' coffees we toasted and praised the hell out of each other. It was my last show but the lads have about another 2 months zig-zagging the UK with the wonderful Hattie Hayridge fluffing the crowd for them. She's a lucky girl.

It's a bit luvvie I know, but I wanna say a huge thanks to John who booked me in the first place, Dan, Martyn, Stu and Zoha for a fabulous weekend. See you guys soon I hope.

In Dublin's Fair City

Firstly I should apologise for the tardiness of this post, I've had a guest book added to my website which has caused no end of problems. Still it's all sorted now.

So, last Friday night I was in Dublin for the first of two shows at The Olympia Theatre (see photo) supporting Puppetry of the Penis. These shows were part of the Bulmers Comedy Festival - my old mate Mat Lucas was doing his Little Britain show at the mega-sized Point across town - and so the shows weren't 'normal'.

They'd run a new comedian competition and part of the winner's prize was to do a set before the main show began. He was introduced by the organiser of the festival and that meant that it really was a show of two halves.

It also meant that my time was cut back considerably. The plan was for me to do around 10 minutes and then introduce the boys.

As you can imagine, the 1500 strong audience (which comprised of about 1480 women and 20 men) were getting impatient, they wanted cock and lots of it. As I stood at the side of the stage while Dan announced me I could feel their anticipation. It added to my own, as I had no idea of what the hell I was gonna do, its been 12 years since I did a 10 minute spot.

My opening line was about how disappointed they must be, geared up for a couple of naked boys, and some old bird wanders out. I had em from there and ended up doing about 13 minutes to just the most amazing reception. The sound of 1500 people laughing is phenomenal. It's also very time consuming, I probably did about 5 minutes of material in that time. It was the most fantastic sensation.

The boys had a cracker too, the Irish girls sure know how to have fun. After the show ended I nipped outside the stage door for a smoke, not realising that the people leaving the circle exited just up the road.

Soon I was being inundated with compliments, people asking when I was gonna be doing my own show in Dublin (at this rate in another 10 years!), how funny I was etc etc. The best bit was two women who I would say were in their 60', dolled up for a night at the theatre, one stopped and said to me 'Look at her, wearing all her diamonds to see two pricks!' It just cracked me up...fabulous.

I walked round to the front of house where the boys were signing copies of the How To ... manual, and ended up signing about 50 of the books myself! I felt like bleedin Madonna I tells ya!

After the signing session was done, we went out for dinner at this fabulous place called Havana just up the road. One of the things I noticed immediately about the new Dublin is how European it is. I wasn't a huge fan after my last visit, but now I love the place! If there are any promoters out there who wanna book me, please do get in touch!

After a great meal of tapas/pinchos and lentil and chorizo stew, Zoha the camera girl and all round good egg and I wandered back to the hotel leaving the boys to go out on the lash. It was remarkable how safe we both felt. Walking back from the gig in some cities in the UK is an exercise is fear management, but not here. The streets were teeming with drunken people but there was no aggression anywhere.

On Saturday I had a wander round the shops but it was cut short by the actual weather not resembling the weather forecast in any way. Birkenstocks are not good in pouring rain! Back at the hotel I was greeted by the sight of about 80 American men dressed in full golf kit watching the Ryder Cup on the telly in the bar! I suppose it's no different to guys watching football in their team's shirts. Just made me giggle.

Saturday night's show was more of the same, lotsa laughs, lotsa praise and ego stroking, followed by fish and chips eaten in the hotel lobby. We had an early start in the morning, the flight wasn't till noon but after all the hassle coming out we wanted to make sure we actually got on the flight. This didn't stop the boys going out again tho. Oh to be young again....not.

Thank you Dublin...and thank you PotP for giving me a chance to revise my opinion.


Thursday, September 28, 2006

Little Hitlers

So the weekend began with a first class trip from Euston as far as Wigan, followed by a little commuter train to Southport. It's 26 years since I was last there, and I have to say it hasn't changed a great deal.

I checked into the Bold Hotel, which was certainly well named, they were bold, if not audacious to ever consider this glorified B&B a hotel! Still, it was clean, tho the bed has a wobbliness about it I've never seen in anything other than a waterbed before.

I got ready and walked down to the gig, ahhhh The Southport Theatre, home of the Krankies and the like. I'll bet they've never seen anything like us! Found the guys at the pub across the road, then we all walked over to the theatre. It was a modern structure, well I say modern obviously built in the 70's - it had that bleakness about it.

The gig however was fantastic, not a sold out room, but 400 or so of greater Merseyside's lairiest birds!

Afterwards we went for a chinese meal where I learned of Martyn's addiction to Hoysin Sauce. He's such a sweet boy, I feel quite maternal towards him. Gawd I am getting old!

Friday morning we were up with the lark and bound for the glamour that is Blackpool International Airport. Bless them and their unrealistic aspirations! Its a shed!

There was much hassle at the Ryanair check-in, in spite of the fact that their agent had paid excess to get all the props on board, this officious witch decided to follow the rules to the letter and ended up charging poor Stewie the tour manager an extra £200. Funnily enough, she didn't seem to be able to find a piece of Ryanair headed note paper with their VAT registration number on it. How odd is that? Perhaps excess baggage is VAT exempt for big airlines eh?

This was followed by more little Hitlers at the security desk. The rules have been relaxed considerably, so basically the only thing you can't take on board is anything liquid. I had nothing liquid in my bag, so I figured I was cool. But no, witch number two, declared my Rose's Lip Balm to be a dangerous substance. Dangerous only to dry lips! I challenged it, as you can only get it at their little boutique in Leeds and I haven't got any Leeds gigs in the book for the forseeable future. The dozy twunt kept going on about no liquids and I said it was a balm, not a liquid, and she said I could still have something in it that was dangerous. I told her to smell it, it smells of roses not fucking Semtex!

It was at that point I looked around and saw two guys in kevlar vests armed with both machine and handguns so I bit my tongue. No doubt the bitch wanted it for herself, I hope she catches a cold sore!

Needless to say the flight was delayed by almost an hour, eating into our preparation time in Dublin, but we got there eventually and while the others when to the gig to set up, I headed off to the hotel and checked in.

It was a Jurys - which is an Irish chain - the first time I've ever actually stayed in one in Ireland tho. The room was fine, the same as you get in Southampton or Manchester or anywhere. In that respect, I kinda like chain hotels, you know what you are getting no matter where you are. I had time to unpack and even have a little nap before heading off to the theatre.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Welcome Home

Soooooooo I am back in my humble abode after 6 days away. It feels good boy!

I came back to a ton of mail, cheques, hospital appointments, junk mail and two pair of fabulous Bathing Ape trainers that I ordered from a random site on the net.

To be honest I was dubious about ordering them but they arrived in less than a week and they are gorgeous, especially the black patent leather ones that will become my winter stage shoes.

I have soooooo much to tell you about my weekend, but to be really honest I'm a bit knackered, so will file a full report tomorrow.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

EeeeyOooop and Begorrah

Today I head off to do my last four dates with Puppetry of the Penis.

It's a train up to Southport, home of the man I had my first ever crush on. As opposed to the numerous popstars I had crushes on when I was young, this guy was real, he was years older than me and fueled my teenage fantasies from the age of 16 for a couple of years. I remember when we did finally get it together, it was a massive disappointment.

Just goes to show, never sleep with your teenage crushes!

Tomorrow we head off to the glamourous Blackpool International Airport, and fly to Dublin for two shows.

That'll be interesting as 9 or 10 years ago I was banned from performing at The Laughter Lounge in the city and I haven't been back since. Who knows? Maybe they won't let me in the country!

Why did they ban me? Surely I must've done something terribly outrageous? Well no, I did my act, simple as that. Bearing in mind I was on a bill with two guys who made comments about The Pope and nuns, to me it seemed a bit off that I was the one that got the complaints!

The story goes that two people were so horrified by me, the went to the police. The club was contacted by the Guarda who said that there would be two plain clothes officers in the audience the next night and if I went on, I'd be arrested and the club shut down. I'm a regular Lenny Bruce me!

The late, great Malcom Hardee was booking the acts so it fell to him to give me the news in his own inimitable way 'Oi Oi girl, it's all gone tits up' were his words.

The reality I suspect was a lot less dramatic, the place had only been open a month and the old boy who ran it had never seen a female comedian. I guess I seemed like The Whore of Babylon to him.

Anyway, I am not expecting any hassle this time, after all if you go to a show where two men play with their willies for an hour, a fiesty bird introducing them isn't gonna be too much of a shock, is it?

Sunday we fly back to Blackpool for a show at The Grand Theatre. I am very excited about this as I grew up about 20 miles away and I saw David Essex perform on this very stage many, many moons ago.

It's a real buzz to think I'll be standing on that same stage as my first real childhood least I had the sense not to shag him, so the memories are still intact.

Finally, I just wanna give a massive shout out to my pal Gina Yashere who did a sterling job hosting last night's Mobo's, which went out live. Talk about nerve-wracking stuff! Good to see her working the Lily Allen look of posh frock and trainers...suits ya girl!

Have a great weekend people xx

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Soooo Not The Theatre Daaaahlink!!!!!!

So I did an awayday to Portsmouth last night to support the penis puppeteers again.

This time we were appearing at Jongleurs, not some big swanky theatre.

On the way down I didn't really give it too much though, after all, it was only last Friday and Saturday that I was MC'ing the joint. When I got there it was a different story sadly.

They'd moved the stage away from the back wall in order to fit the boys' technical specifications, not to mention lowering it and moving the audience about6 feet back. I walked on, and it was like playing in an empty room!

The acoustics at this club aren't great at the best of times but it was just horrendous! I couldn't see a single person, which made it impossible to connect with them at all. Basically I just hated every second I was on.

The weird thing is, I didn't have a bad gig, the audience laughed, the guys said it was a good un, but I felt hollow and unsatisfied.

As I was sitting on the train 30 minutes' later, I reflected on the night. This is my main creative outlet, and while I am the first to stand up and say that primarily we are entertainers not artists, for me there has to be a 50-50 balance. Otherwise, its just a job.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Dumb Animals

In spite of my earlier cheery weblog, I had a really distressing start to the day. Two pit bulls were fighting outside my bedroom window and the howling of the losing dog woke me up.

I leaned out of the window to see what was going on, to find one dog had the other's neck in its jaws and wasn't letting go.

All of this was horrific enough, but it was the behaviour of the owners that really distressed me. There were four young men surrounding the animals, shouting, cursing, generally making the situation worse.

How were these "responsible" dog owners dealing with the situation? By kicking the shit out of both dogs repeatedly. A rather brave woman came up with a broom and told the guys to stop kicking the dogs as that would only make the attacking one grip tighter and she suggested using the handle of the broom to prise the dog's teeth open.

Surprise, surprise these big strong men were all too pussy to go anywhere near the dog's mouth. Kicking it in the belly was fine but god forbid they might get hurt! Luckily another neighbour came out with an iron golf club, and tho he was twice the age of the boys, he had the cojones to actually stick it in the poor animal's mouth and free the other dog.

The owner of the attacking dog clipped it's leash back on - a huge, heavy chain affair, obviously more for show than for any real use - and buggered off. None of the boys said thank you to the guy who saved their animals, and he just wandered back off to his house.

The dog that had been bitten wasn't in such a bad way physically, there was a bit of blood coming from the back of it's neck but psychologically the poor creature was fucked. It was cowering, looking up at its owner who didn't show an ounce of compassion towards his 'pet'. His pride was obviously hurt cos his dog was weaker than the other, you could see the disgust pouring out of him for this animal.

The broom lady told him to take the dog to the vet, but he dismissed her with a wave of his hand. He put the collar back on his dog, no leash which is probably how his dog got into the scrap in the first place.

It got me thinking about a radio show I did a few years ago. There was a section called "Sunday Soapbox" and they asked me for a topic I felt passionately about. I chose pet owners.

My stand was that people should be intelligence tested before they can own a pet. Too many idiots get their hands on animals when they have no idea how to take care of them. After my speech, the phone lines were opened, and I got a few people telling me I was a fascist for suggesting such a thing. One incredulous man said 'presumably you'd advocate the same thing before people were allowed to have children'. I replied that that went without saying.

Today I saw examples of both. A pair of idiots raised with no manners or respect, owning two potentially dangerous animals, what a lethal combination. What if that had been a child the dog had in it's jaws?

Perhaps I am naive, but to me there is no such thing as a dangerous dog, just a stupid, ignorant owner.

Sometimes man is the dumbest animal of all


This is possibly the only photo in existence of Puppetry of the Penis with their clothes on.

That's Dan on the left and Martin on the right, backstage at The Pavillion Theatre, Bournemouth.

What a weekend!

It was Portsmouth Jongleurs on Friday and Saturday nights where I was working with my good mate Colin Cole. The weather was incredibly warm and it was a bit like being on holiday down on Gunwharf Keys.

Having said that, I didn't see a whole lot of Saturday as I slept most of the curtains at home don't really block the light, so when I go away I catch up on the week's missed zzzzz's.

On Sunday I had a whole day to kill cos I didn't have to be in Bournemouth till the evening. The Holiday Inn very kindly gave me a late check out and then I went for lunch at the Quays. It really was wonderful, reading the papers, sitting in the sun, people watching, and having my first decent meal of the weekend!

Got the train up the coast and the lovely Stewart who tour manages PotP collected me from the station and took me to the theatre.

It's a proper seaside theatre, massive, high ceilings, great acoustics, and totally sold out! One thousand people.

I got changed and painted my face in front of one of those proper "showbiz' dressing room mirrors with the light bulbs round it. I felt like Joan Crawford or someone!

The gig was brilliant fun, tho the orchestra pit and the lighting meant it was difficult to see anyone at all in the audience. If it hadn't been for the waves of laughter I'd have thought I was talking to myself!

It sounds dead pretentious I know, and I am also aware that what I do isn't exactly highbrow art, but god it's incredible performing in a big theatre! Everything just works, and now that I am a bit longer in the tooth, the size doesn't phase me. I love the space both literally and metaphorically, you get in a theatre. You can take your time, tell your story and just by virtue of the building they are in, the audience goes with you. Oh! What bliss!

Thirty minutes later, my time was up and I was back to reality, jumping into a taxi so that I could catch a train back to London.

Such is the life of a showbiz gypsy.

Friday, September 15, 2006


Sooooooo I went and did it.

My first support slot for Puppetry of the Penis that is. Their agent, the suave and handsome John collected me from my house and drove me to the venue which was the other side of London on the Herts/Essex borders.

We've spoken on the loads over the last three years, but this was my first time actually meeting him. The conversation in the car flowed way more smoothly than the rush hour traffic on the North Circular I can tell you!

Got to the gig with about 10 minutes to spare, so I slung my lippy on, had a wee and then it was time to get my ass onstage.

It was amazing, a big theatre, sold out, and I had a blinder of a gig! I always assume that anyone coming to one of their shows knows what to expect, and as a result there's nothing I can say that is gonna shock people.

I assume wrong. There was a very sweet, grey haired, old lady in the third row who looked as tho she'd nodded off and woken up in Sodom and Gomorrah! If she found me 'challenging' what on earth was she gonna make of the boys?

Anyways, I had a great laugh and the predominantly female audience were more than ready for the main event.

Nipping outside for a fag in the interval, I bumped into one of my comedy chums, Susan Murray, who'd come to check out their show as she's supporting them tonight in Hayes. It was great to see her, I can't remember the last time we met up.

Went in to watch the show and was seated a bit too close to the stage for my liking, but as it was sold out, I didn't have much choice. The boys - Martin and Dan - came on in their silk capes, socks and trainers - how glamourous - to a riotous reception from the willy starved women of Broxbourne. It was insania, and that was before they took their capes off!

These guys are new to me, over the years I've worked with several other Penis Puppeteers, keeps it fresh! They're like a franchise now, like Stomp, there's several PotP's touring on the various continents.

I hadn't seen the show for a couple of years and had forgotten just how funny it is. It also looks pretty painful at times! I don't have a cock of my own, but if I did, I think I'd treat it a bit better than Martin and Dan do theirs!

The audience loved every minute of it, and the lads seemed to be having fun too. It was a great night, and I'm looking forward to the next one.

I'm off to Portsmouth today to MC a couple of gigs for Jongleurs, which I'm looking forward to. Colin Cole is on and he's always a calming influence in the dressing room.

Then on Sunday I take my time getting over to Bournemouth to do The Pavillion Theatre with the boys. I can't wait! I love doing theatres, you feel proper showbiz.

I've packed my digital camera and plan to come back with a rare photo of Puppetry of the Penis with their clothes on!

In the meantime, if you wanna know or see more of them you can go to their website which is

Have a great weekend folks xx

Thursday, September 14, 2006

It's a Puppet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it's not, it's two grown men playing with their willies!

Yep I'm off to do my first support slot for Puppetry of the Penis in Broxbourne tonight, and really excited about it.

It's been 21 months since I've seen a live naked man, I fear I may be overcome*.

Full report tomorrow, stay tuned folks xx

*as opposed to come over, it's not that kind of show!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Cardiff this weekend....

... was fantastic!

The hotel was civilized and clean, the weather glorious, the gigs marvellous!

Thursday and Friday we had the gorgeous Mandy Knight, who blew the room away with her acerbic comments to unsuspecting members of the crowd. Until Mandy did her set I was the nasty girl in the room, after her I was Mary Poppins!

Owen was sooooo funny, some of it unintentional. His nickname of the weekend became 'Man of a Thousand Voices' as every accent he did was exactly like his own Northern Irish one!

Craig was so relaxed onstage, he's one of those comedians who make it look easy. He shares his enthusiasm about life, the universe, and New Zealand, taking you with him on the ride. Wonderful stuff.

On Saturday Mandy wasn't with us as she'd been called back to London to do a special gig, but in her place we got the fantastic Mickey Flannagan, who just keeps getting funnier and funnier.

You know how you meet some people and they are just on your wavelength, you can take the piss and they just laugh cos they 'get it'? Well Mickey is one of those guys. I introduced him as one of my favourite acts and as we passed on the stage I whispered 'don't fuck it up' and he laughed.

Some people don't understand that when you take the piss its cos you like em, if you didn't you wouldn't bother, thank god Mickey understands.

Thanks for making it a great weekend guys.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Yakki Da

Apologies to any Welsh readers, but I'm running out of titles!

Off to Cardiff later for three gigs at The Glee Club down on the Bay. I only get to do this a couple of times a year so its always a real event. Lee who runs the place used to be Bar Manager at the Brum Glee, so I've known him a long time. He goes out of his way to make your weekend as much fun as possible, as with Birmingham its like going to visit family for the weekend.

There's an extra frisson of excitement this weekend cos the hotel has changed. Last time I did the gig I had to endure the godawful Big Sleep hotel, and it really does take the edge of an otherwise great weekend.

So now apparently, we have this amazing new place to stay in that's closer to the gig, so no wrestling drunks for a cab back each night.

The other great thing is the line-up, I'm MC'ing, then we have the marvellous Mandy Knight, Craig Campbell who I haven't gigged with in years and Owen O'Neill who I don't think I've ever shared a bill with in my whole 13 years. I'm so excited, I can't wait to see all of them do their stuff.

Have a good one folks xx

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Dizzy No More

Yayyyyyyyyy. Woke up this morning and for the first time in almost two months the world wasn't spinning around. I didn't have a headache or feel sick to my stomach either.

Gawd bless penicillin!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Steve Irwin

Bit of a shock but not a surprise. You were never gonna read about him dying peacefully in his sleep aged 98 were you?

He featured in many comedian's sets over the last few years, there's some material you won't be able to use for a couple of weeks kids!

His enthusiasm was infectious, he cared about the creatures that brough him fame and fortune, he made the safari suit acceptable again.

RIP mate

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Camden Taaaaaaahn

So the week's "work" is done and dusted...two nights at Camden Jongleurs. No rest for the wicked eh?

We had two blistering nights of comedy of just about every kind this weekend. The bills were fabulous - Ian Moore, Andy Askins, Steve Day "Britain's Only Deaf Comic" as he likes to be introduced, Harvey Oliver (Friday), Zoe Lyons (Saturday) and Curtis Walker closing both shows.

The club was hot! Dunno whether the air con had broken down or just wasn't powerful enough to cope with 400 people packed into a room, but all of us - apart from Ian of course, he's far too cool - worked up a serious sweat.

Ian and Andy were both doubling up with The Comedy Store, so they did their stuff - excellently - and buggered off. Ian is always a joy, tho being North London some of the crowd were obviously analysing his material to see if it was PC enough to laugh at. Andy is just the most pleasant 20 minutes you can spend with anyone, and he has a brilliant Stephen Hawking gag at the moment which, it appears, only typists get!

Steve Day is still fairly new to Jongleurs, but he rocked the house both nights. He didn't go deaf till he was 18 and its actually difficult to tell that he is deaf, he lip reads so well. He's had to buy bright red hearing aids so that the audience believe him! How mad is that?

Harvey had an absolute stormer on Friday, I love the way his persona is developing, he gets so wound up onstage now it looks like several blood vessels are gonna burst all at once! Very funny.

On Saturday Zoe Lyons replaced Harvey, and it was a really lairy crowd for some reason (alcohol I suspect) and she took no prisoners. Its only the second time I've seen Zoe, the first being when I MC'd her doing her open spot at Bow Jongleurs about 6 months ago. Both times she's blown me away. Looking forward to working with her more often.

Curtis seems to have moved up an extra gear in his stand-up this weekend. I haven't seen him for a while, and he's never not been great, but this weekend he was on fire! He's so relaxed onstage, fearless even. He's also got some fantastic material at the moment.

If you're reading this and you were at either show you'll know I aint bullshitting when I say this weekend was just about the best two nights of comedy anywhere in the world.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Shamelessly Lifted...

... from the Holy Moly mailout.

Click on link below to find out what the future has in store for you!


Its incredible!

Working From Home

Well more or less, as this weekend I'm at Jongleurs Camden, which is a mere 80p on the Oyster Card bus ride away.

As most of you will know, its on the site of what used to be Dingwalls in Camden Lock, and no matter how many times I play there I still get a little frisson of excitement when I walk on that stage.

Just as well I have good memories of it, cos I'm MC'ing which means walking onto the stage about seven times per night! The London Jongleurs still feature four comedians and there's often an open spot so I'm up and down like a juggler's jockstrap. Thank god there's only 3 steps!

If the website is correct there's a blinding bill on this weekend too, and even if it's wrong it's highly unlikely that there'll be four shit acts on, so if you're in the area and at a loss for a great night out, head on down.

In other news I am waaaaaaaay less dizzy thanks to the Amoxycillin, welcome news for the front row of the audience tonight I'm sure.

Also the smoking thing seems to have stalled at around 22 cigarettes a day. This is still way better than the 40 a day I was smoking a month ago, but I really wanna get it to under 20. Maybe I should try the gum or patches....hmmmmm?