Friday, March 27, 2009

Getting Older....

isn't meant to be this much fun!

Goddamn I feel good! Watch out Brighton folk!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Gimme Yer Fookin Money!!!!!!!!

That's the link I want you all to click on or C&P cos I am going to be doing something I never dreamed possible this October. I am doing a five day trek in the Himalayas, followed by renovating a shelter for street kids in Delhi.

Now two years ago climbing the three flights of stairs up to my flat felt like climbing the Himalayas and I haven't painted/decorated my own place since I was on the dole back in the early 80's. These days I am blessed enough to be able to get a man in for that sort of thing!

Anyway, that's what I'm gonna be doing, and I want you all to give what you can. I've paid the costs myself obviously, so everything you give goes straight to Action Aid for the wonderful work they do all across the world.

I know it's only a week since Comic Relief raised that amazing amount of money, but surely you can spare a quid or two?



I Feel Goooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soooooooo the sunshine came out finally, and boy have I been making the most of it. Lots of walking around town - I have another motive for that, more later - lots of hanging out with friends, lots of positivity. Oh and I changed my hair colour as you can see from the photo!

I've been brunette for a whole week, and have had waaaaaaaaay more attention than I did in the last year as a blonde! I was trying to work that whole Aggy Deyn look but the reality was I was more Myra Hindley I think! So I bit the bullet and got the ever-patient Patrick to slap some brown dye on, and I love it!

So that was Monday, Tuesday I had a mad dash to Nomad in Russell Square for a pair of Scarpa walking boots.

Wednesday I went to see The Wrestler. I kind of enjoyed it but it was really tragic too. Seeing Mickey Rourke looking the way he does is heartbreaking. Back in the early 80's he was over here making a film called A Prayer For The Dying, and turned up at the Cafe de Paris one Wednesday night.

As every female in the club got a bit sticky all at once, he actually came up to me and complimented me on a Levis jacket I was wearing. It was customised with various bits of Chanel - thanks to my pal Kirsty - and he wanted one. For the rest of the time he was in London, he would turn up at the Cafe, ask for my jacket and we'd have a dance. He was sooooooo gorgeous even tho he was in character as an IRA man, which seemed to comprise of greasy hair and a green parka, and every woman in the room would've run off with him given a chance. This prompted a fair bit of resentment from the other men in the club, especially the good looking ones who would usually be the centre of attention. My old mate Pete Wylie was heard moaning one week 'If he was a UK Subs roadie, nobody would look at him twice!'

It's just really sad to see him looking the way he does now.

Thursday I got myself a bit of culture. Went off to Tate Britain to see the Triennial which unfortunately lived up to the negative criticism. The only real highlight for me was Nathaniel Mellors' GIANTBUM' which made me smile. From there I walked along the Thames to the Tate Modern and saw the Roni Horn show which I did enjoy especially the huge glass sculptures. Across the way was the Rodchenko & Popova show. I really liked Rodchenko's paintings, especially Construction no 104. Even if you didn't know that they were Russian artists, they could only be Russian. Fabulous!

The weekend was spent making the good people of Oxford laugh along with a cracking line-up - Roger D, Otiz Canneloni and Mark Walker - and we all had a good time both nights. They were my first brunette gigs and I reckon they were even more fun than the blonde ones!


Monday, March 16, 2009

Too Modest For My Own Good!

So the weekend was fantastic actually.

I'd had fun at the Funny Sides on Thursday, got to hang out with some lovely guys at Reading Jongleurs on Friday, and then on Saturday was the nerve-wracking gig.

I was booked to do the Komedia in Bath, a venue I've not played before - which always makes me a bit apprehensive - but not only that I was headlining! Scary stuff. Mind you, I was in good hands - Rob Heeney was the MC and my ride home (gawd bless him) and Alan Francis (who I'd not done a gig with in a like a billion years) and Damian Clark from Australia who was new to me.

I got the train down there, which was nice and easy - if only all train journeys were this simple! - and was blown away by the venue and the kindness and enthusiasm of the staff. All of which made me even more nervous! If it had been a dump and the people horrid, then I'd have felt less pressure to be fabulous!

I watched Rob, Alan and Damian all be fantastic, then it was my turn. I strolled out onstage and amazed myself! I had a stormer and did a cracking 25 minute set. It was just one of those perfect gigs.

Afterwards everyone was full of praise, and Polly rushed backstage with an envelope full of cash, not that I do it for the money you understand, but it is always a lovely feeling to come home with a purse full.

I realised that I often put myself down when it comes to performing. I can feel proud about other achievements in my life, but for some reason it seems wrong to me to take pride in the fact that for the last 15 years I've made a decent living telling jokes. I must be doing something right eh?


Friday, March 13, 2009


So this week my contract with Vodaphone came to an end, and I got my very first iPhone. I am a huge fan of all things Apple, but my god, nothing prepared me for the sheer bliss that is the iPhone! I had my Blackberry for two years and never mastered a quarter of it's capabilities, I've had the iPhone four days and am zipping around it like a demon! Faaaaabulous!

In other news I was up in Glasgow last weekend for two cracking gigs at Jongleurs with a terrific line-up - Phil Walker, Andrew Murrell and Tony Hendriks - all of whom tore up the stage. I had a nice treat on the flight back to sexy Luton as we bumped into best-selling novelist (and sometime comedian) Mark Billingham. Funnily enough he's an iPhone fan and was extolling the virtues during the flight. If you haven't read any of his books, do yourself a favour - they're fantastic!

This week I've also been stepping up my workout, I've got a challenge coming up and need to be super fit for it, so this is the start. Needless to say, I have new aches everywhere!

I had a little spree in TopShop on Wednesday - they've got some amazing new clothes in there and I was - for me - relatively restrained!

Last night I did a pair of Funny Side gigs in town which I thoroughly enjoyed, and tonight I get to go and do one of my favourite Jongleurs in Reading. Tomorrow I'm off to Bath to do the Komedia there which is very exciting as I've not played there before. In fact the last time I was in Bath was nearly 20 years ago when I did a week-long intensive driving course and failed my test for being "too cautious". Not a criticism that's been levelled at me too often in my life!


Sunday, March 01, 2009


..... I LOVE my job!!!!!!!!!!

After spending the week looking like a slightly less battered version of Rhianna thanks to the botox injections which left my face covered in bruises, and battling a horrible chest infection (as horrid as it was, it went away much quicker than it would've done if I was still smoking) I was beginning to wonder what else the universe had in store for me. Well the answer came when I found out that the gigs I was booked to do this weekend were not booked in with the bookers!

As luck would have it, I picked up a couple of last minute ones, and actually had so much fun that I was cool about the cock-up. Friday night saw me speeding off to Bournemouth to do the Funny Bone comedy club where I was on a bill that including my comedy brothers The Raymond and Mr Timkins Revue. The gig was fun and it was fab to see them for the first time in months. Even better I found out they'll be doing the Komedia in Brighton with me on my birthday!

Saturday saw me opening at Up The Creek. Now if you're a regular reader of my posts, you'll know how much I love this gig, but usually I'm the MC, so doing a set was a bit nerve-wracking for me. The lovely Windsor was compering and he set it all up beautifully for me. I took it and ran with it, doing around half an hour without even realising! It was so much fun and I felt so at home on that stage.

I've often said that I wouldn't wanna do an hour long show, but in a gig like last night's I could've easily gone on, I just felt 'right' somehow.

So apologies to Sean Percival and Mike Wilmot for over-running, and a huge thank you to everyone who was in the audience last night. You guys made my week.